How I work
I use what science knows about how people learn to help you understand your patterns and build new skills, always with your whole life in mind.
What is a pattern?
A pattern is something you do, think, or feel again and again in similar situations.
Patterns are shaped by life experience. Some still serve you well, and some have outlived their usefulness. Looking at them closely can show you new choices.
Thinking. Feeling. Doing.
Behavior isn't only what other people can see. It also includes what happens inside you, like thoughts and feelings. Thoughts, feelings, and actions all have a history. Biology, learning, and life experiences influence how we respond. We can't simply decide what to feel, but we can learn new ways of responding to what we experience.
Feelings are real. They aren't something you can just switch off. Instead of fighting them, we work to understand what they're telling you and how you want to respond.
The curious counselorThere’s usually more to the story than what we see on the surface.
Thinking
Thoughts, worries, mental pictures, and the stories we tell ourselves.
Feeling
Emotions and the physical sensations that come with them.
Doing
Actions, words, and habits that others can see.
Memories
Images, sounds, and moments from the past that can feel vivid in the present.
Body sensations
Signals such as a racing heart, a tight chest, heaviness, or a slow, calm breath.
Stress responses
Fight, flight, or freeze: the body's automatic alarm system.
Learning and context
What you've learned over time shapes how you react. So does the rest of your life, like your health, your relationships, your culture, and what's happening around you right now.
Why this matters for anxiety and trauma
Sometimes our alarm system learns to respond to reminders of danger, even when the original threat is gone. That response can feel automatic because, in many ways, it is. Understanding what triggers the alarm and what keeps it going can help us develop new responses. Read more about anxiety and trauma-related concerns.
How experience teaches us to react
We learn from experience in two main ways. We can learn to link certain things with danger, and we can learn to repeat actions because of what happens right after.
Learning by links
"This reminds me of that."
A soundA scary memoryAlarm
Your mind can link a reminder, like a sound, place, or event, with danger. Then the alarm may go off before you know why.
Learning by what follows
"That helped. I'll do it again."
AvoidFeel reliefAvoid again
What happens after a reaction can make it more likely next time. Relief can keep a habit going, even when it causes problems later.
These reactions are learned, not character flaws.
A circular behavior loop
Here is how one loop can keep itself going, even when it adds to your stress.
- 1 · It startsA friend has not replied to a text.
- 2 · InsideWorry and tension show up.
- 3 · ResponseCheck again. Ask for reassurance.
- 4 · What followsBrief relief makes checking more likely next time.
Support is valuable
Reaching out for support is healthy and valuable. The question is whether repeated reassurance is truly helping, or quietly keeping this loop going.
One option might be to check later, if nothing is urgent. What helps varies from person to person.
Same action, different purpose
Checking a message about a flight delay may help you make a plan.
Checking a friend's text every few minutes may keep worry going.
The same action can serve different purposes in different situations.
TRACKS: how we look at a pattern together
TRACKS is a simple guide to how I work. It isn't a test, a diagnosis, or a separate type of therapy.
T: Track the Pattern
Notice what happens before and after a reaction.
When does this happen, and what comes next?
R: Recognize Function
Ask what the reaction does for you. Does it help you avoid something, get something, or cope?
What is this doing for me?
A: Attend to Experience
Notice your thoughts, feelings, memories, and body sensations.
What am I noticing inside?
C: Create Alternatives
Think of another way to respond that fits your needs and what matters to you.
What else could I try?
K: Keep Practicing
Small steps, repeated often, help new skills grow.
What small step can I repeat this week?
S: Shift With Context
Adjust as your needs or situation change.
What's different now, and what fits?
You do not have to use these steps in order. The goal is more choices.
Go gently. If tracing a pattern brings up distressing memories or feelings, pause and bring it to a session.
We can explore your patterns together.
We don't have to understand everything at once. We'll start with what's happening now and work toward the changes that matter to you.